10 years ago, I wrote myself a birthday card. Yes. I really did. And since I keep everything I still have it. In fact it’s right here. Just look back to January 28,  2016.

I wished myself luck.

I wished myself love.

I wished myself strength and prosperity.

It has been a turbulent time. 10 years. A broken ankle – I lost my footing – sign of the 10 years you might say. I’ve lost too many people in those 10 years. In-laws who knew me well and who suddenly went. In-laws struggling, who we watched slowly disappear until goodbye was the only word left.

People close, within my circle, friends, struggling with challenges they could have been without. Changed but still here. I love them, still.

The closest people, those who know you best as only they can, have said goodbye. Out of reach, our phone lines and mobile masts don’t reach out to the stars.

Struggles with life, choosing it, living it. Being reminded it is here and it is ok – it can be lived. Lived your way, no one else’s way – that was a hard nut to crack for one very special love in my life. He teetered. He didn’t fall.

A heart that came close to the dark abyss and almost gave up, but the owner is tough so his heart still beats. And so does mine, for him.

10 years of living. 10 years of loving. 10 years with some losses. 10 years of learning. 10 years of exploring. 10 years of doing, of thinking, of laughing and crying. 10 years of friends still here, still close. 10 years – 65 I am. Time flies. So I’ll wish myself a happy birthday again this time around.

Make a wish, blow those candles out.

I wish myself luck.

I wish myself love.

I wish myself health.

I wish myself strength, wisdom, time and prosperity.

And I wish too, all of these things, for you.

Love you.

A shelf filled with good intentions
I gaze at the shelf
I wrinkle my brow and scrunch my eyes
What a waste, I ruminate
There are enough rolls for a yoga fitness class
One red, one green, one black and mats, those too

Enough stuff to create 100 pieces of art in any form you can imagine
Clay, paint – water colour, acrylic and oil
Canvasses too, small, medium and large
Sketch pads for pencil, charcoal, pastels and paint
Pebble art markers Markers in every rainbow’s colour
Right, well, enough of that

There are picture frames,
Nails and screws to fix actually anything!
4 hammers, 10 multi-bit screwdrivers
A Crockpot, a sous vide and 6 empty cookie tins
The shelf, yes that one, you know the one, the one where my good intentions go.