Talk about it! Show it! Ask about it! Don’t be afraid.

Trying to explain what it feels like inside of your head, oh boy. All that woolly stuff that the thoughts get stuck in, the way the thoughts go in a ring, constantly, never stopping. The way you can take the blame for all of the ills of the world, all of it is your fault. If only you hadn’t stepped on the line, hopped over that square, flicked the lights less than 10 times 2 weeks ago, none of this would have happened. What if you had done that earlier? What if you hadn’t said those things just then. If only you had been there 5 minutes earlier. None of this would have happened and everything would be ok.

Sleep is a place far away from your reality. Sleep only comes when the exhaustion is complete and the body switches to auto pilot and blasts the mind out of the equation. Sleep stays just out of reach as the mind does a mental review of everything. Every word you said, every thing you did, every eye contact made, every little movement – today, yesterday, 5 weeks ago, 5 years ago, when you were 5. Sleep, when it does come, is exhausting. You awake almost more tired, if that is possible, than when you went to bed.

The day begins again and you wonder why. What is the point? There is no light. There is no sunshine even when the sun is out. You take one positive thought, I can make it to tomorrow. And again tomorrow if it is still only just bearable when you wake – I can make it to tomorrow. Out there, there is a tomorrow where the light does shine just a little. And one day, after the tomorrows with a bit of light come around more often and the light they show is a little more and lasts a little longer you discover that the dark isn’t quite as thick and black as it was before.The fake smile becomes just a little less fake and it very, very slowly starts to reach the eyes.

Sometimes, just sometimes the change is like an explosion! Pow! Blast! The door is open! Life is good!!! You laugh! The mind is on track again and you can do just about anything! A little manic but not bipolar. That is a completely different kettle of fish.

Talk about it. Ask about it.

I am still so angry, enraged, desparate, left with a feeling of helplessness after the events in Copenhagen the weekend of 14feb2015. The police have been investigating, the politicians have chosen the “tack” they should take in order to get the most wind in their sails and 2 families are grieving the loss of loved members of their family, the country is left grieving the loss of 2 members of the danish population.

Worse we must accept that people living in this country call the criminal a hero. I accept that there is a family grieving the loss of their son, their brother, lover. It is hard to swallow. But swallow it we must.

Why have we been forced to accept this situation? Someone, an individual / a group of people, cannot accept and are against democracy and the right all of us who live in a democratic country have, among other rights – the right to choose our religion, the right to express whatever we want, however we want. I repeat, anyone, all of us. These same people who defame democracy use it to further their cause.

I am not danish. I am a foreigner in this land. I came on a whim 23 years ago and stayed. It is a funny little place. A place that without question adopts things American. A place that loves to socialize in a way different to so many other places where it is important for each individual to feel comfortable and at ease. A place that values the cosy-ness in life. A people that are a bit tough to reach the heart of but who are very hospitable. A people who treasure and protect the right and freedom to be themselves however that is.

Denmark is a country that values the freedom and right of free speech.

Denmark is a country that values tolerance and acceptance of people from all walks of life, from all the countries of the world, with whatever religion they choose. Who expect and take for granted that those who move to this country feel the same, do the same, respect the same. Otherwise why are they here???

All of us who live in Denmark must stand together. We must clearly illustrate that we will not give up the right to live as we always have lived. Our society is built on the right to have our own opinions, to express these opinions, the right to be provocative, the right to question. We must not bow down as a result of these terror actions. We must not give up our right to be who we are.

We must not cower when called racist as we are not. We must not pale at being called intolerant for we are not. We must not accept the watering down of the danish way of life, the values of this country and society for it is ours and it is important to uphold.

Those who do not wish to respect and adhere to and protect and defend the fundamental values, the basis of the danish constitution, may now leave. Preferably peacefully.